Destroy All Onions!

please could you fix it for there to be something decent on tv when I’m at the gym.
It was Gok’s Fashion Fix again…

Dear Jim,

please could you fix it for Anne Robinson to be the new Speaker for the House of Commons. I think our MPs would benefit greatly from having more put-downs in their lives. The more brutal and barbed, the better. Ideally, she should make one or two cry.

Thanks!

We had some presentations from senior managers in work a couple of weeks ago. One of the points that came across very strongly was that our management has a very definite obsession with measuring things to keep score.

I have to admit that this didn’t impress me very much, as it strikes me as a slightly childish way to have to deal with the world, that nothing matters unless it can be counted in some way. The risk is that you know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

But I have to confess that I understood on Saturday that I am, in my own way, part of the problem. There was some excitement in Team Lard when we approached another group of cyclists on the road ahead of us for the first time. And when we passed them, it seemed perfectly natural to count that we had passed 3 people. And so I started to keep score or how many people I had passed, and how many had passed me.

Now there are lots of ways to measure success on a cycle ride. The obvious one would be whether I finished it or not!! A more advanced one would be the time it took. More complex still would be a placing of where my time put me in the overall list of riders (which isn’t possible to calculate, since they didn’t collect times). But I think it’s a bit childish to make up a score based on passing people.

Anyway, however childish it may be, my score for the day was 21-2, with me passing both of the people who passed me after only a short time. A good result.

But I think it shows that when it comes down to it, I’m no better than my managers. I was not satisfied with purely measuring the outcome (I completed the cycle), or even how well I completed it (my time of 2 hours 30 minutes for the 34 miles). I was more excited by knowing that I had done it better than 19 other people.

Oh well. Maybe I have a future in senior management after all 🙁

The futuristic nightmare of our technology becoming smarter than us and taking over is one of the recurring themes of sci-fi. It’s a constant worry in my life, where I have lots of very clever gadgets, and only one not-so-clever me.

The Marie Curie cycle challenge on Saturday was pretty hard going, for two main reasons. The first is that it was very wet, and the second is that I had to try and keep up with the rest of Team Lard (who were usually ahead of me). Fortunately, I had brought my trusty ipod along with me, so that when I got stuck on my own, I could keep my spirits up with some music.

My ipod was on random play.

• The first track of the day was 1999 by Prince (which you can listen to here), a nice upbeat track to start off with. Not an inspired choice, but not a bad one.

• From there, it went straight to SOS by Abba (which you can listen to here). This was pretty appropriate for the circumstances, and made me hard laugh enough that John dropped back to see what was going on. But surely just a random coincidence.

• What made me suspcious was when it moved on to Save Me by Nina Simone (which you can listen to here). Again, I laughed hard enough to worry the rest of the team. A definite pattern is emerging!

• From here it went to “This may be the last time” by the Rolling Stones (which you can listen to here) – surely a clear warning from my ipod!

I have no idea what prompted my ipod to become so aware of what was going on around it to provide such appropriate songs. Needless to say I’ll be keeping a close eye on it in future, in case it starts sending me more messages!

The other day, a colleague walked round to my desk, and as he was looking over my shoulder at my screen said “There’s a bus in the river”. And so there was! A big yellow one.

By the time I had fiddled with my phone to take a picture, it had already disappeared behind the building across the road. So we couldn’t prove that it had been there, and no-one believed us.

Then yesterday, I googled up river Lagan and bus (or something like that), and found this article. Just as I was pointing out to everyone in the office that we hadn’t imagined it, and that we weren’t mad, someone said “There it is again!”. So we rushed to the window with our phones, and I did manage to get a picture this time.

I am fully aware that the picture is of miserable quality, but it was taken from a phone, in a hurry, through dirty windows, in the rain. But it does show how bizarre is looks to see a big yellow bus travelling along the river Lagan.

And I’m not mad!

That the quirky and fun music from A town called Eureka and the very serious music from Battlestar Galactica are written by the same guy, Bear McCreary?

That’s quite a broad musical spread. He’s a clever chap.

Of course, unless you also watch quite a bit of Sky One, this will mean nothing at all to you.

It was my birthday on Saturday. I had a great day!

• I had a lazy lie-in.
• It was a nice sunny day.
• I went for a long cycle and didn’t get rained on,  or any punctures.
• I was able to buy a nice apple at a roadside stall, to get rid of the taste of the fly that I swallowed.
• I had toasted Nutty Krust for lunch (the best toast known to man).
• I watched on old Doctor Who DVD in the afternoon (The Invasion of Time).
• I went out for tea with an old friend.
• And then we went to see Monsters vs Aliens in 3D.

As I say, a great day.

After a couple of weeks of not cycling, I got out on my bike today, and went out the Comber Greenway. I happened to meet up with the walking group from my church, who were walking that way today. And I didn’t get wet, which is always nice. But that’s not the exciting bit. The exciting bit is that I cycled my 3000th mile on my bike.

For the first 2 years, I managed to do 1000 miles per year. It’s taken a bit longer to get to 3000, but I’m still very pleased. I got my bike a 3 years ago on the basis that it was finally time to do something about the fact that I was getting old and unfit. The age I can’t do anything about, but the fitness I have managed to do something with.

I am all pleased.

My doctor told me that I had to rest my sore leg as much as possible, which means not walking to work for a week or two.

So this morning I tried out the bus. I took the number 5a from the end of my street, which arrived at the bus stop pretty much the same time that I did, so I had no waiting about. Even better, I was able to sit on the front seat of the top deck of the bus, which is one of the coolest ways on earth to travel, so I was all pleased. I was also quite entertained by the amazing underwater effect that the vibration of the bus gave the music on my radio. But it wasn’t a particularly fast way to travel – I reckon it took not far off half an hour door to door, which is pretty much how long it takes me to walk to work.

To get home again I had to take a different route (number 6), since it works out better due to the nature of one-way systems. I guess it also adds variety, which is no bad thing. I met a friend on the top deck, and once some quite entertaining children got off we were able to sit in the front seats again.

So my initial experiences with the bus have been pretty good. Let’s hope it lasts.

No, I won’t be able to achieve my 3000th mile next weekend after all.

My doctor informs me that my walking around Las Vegas has given me tendonitis, so I need to take some anti-inflammatory tablets for the next 10 days, and rest my leg.

That means no walking to work, and no cycling long distances.

🙁