Destroy All Onions!

Despite my leg still being sore from walking around Las Vegas, I went out for a cycle today. Managed to do the 30 miles to Lisburn and back along the River Lagan, which is always a nice picturesque run. Most people seemed to be in good form today – people walking their dogs, other cyclists, and people out walking in the sun. It has to be said it’s usually only the joggers that are noticably miserable, and there weren’t a lot of them.

But most excitingly, me and my bike have now done 2984 miles, so with some decent weather, next weekend should take me to the magic 3000 miles, which will be coo!

So I went to Las Vegas on holiday. Las Vegas has amazing casinos. Really beautiful buildings. And at night there is an unbelievable amount of lights – flashing neon, big TV screens, the works.

All that’s part of the reason I wanted to go there, because I think it’s worth seeing. But equally, I hoped to see a little more of Vegas than the tinsel.

Which is why the view from the top of the Stratosphere tower was so cool. I went up towards dusk, so I would see the daytime view and the nighttime view. And it rocked. Because from up there, the casinos looked cool, but the mountains in the distance (some still with snow on them) were cooler. And all the flashing neon lights rocked, but the moon rising over the mountains was way more impressive. So was the light show of the mountains on the opposite side as they were given a golden halo by the sun setting behind them, while the sky above graduated from blue to black. My cheap camera just couldn’t capture it, so there’s no pictures, but I’m sure your imagination will give you a good view.

So the casinos are impressive, but nature is awesome.

Las Vegas is widely acknowledged to be a place that’s sore on the legs, as the main strip is pretty long, so there’s a lot of walking about. I wasn’t even staying on the strip, but I like walking, so I was quite happy to walk down to the strip from my hotel. Until the day I passed the pawn shop and saw a nice bike for sale for $80. It was red and shiny. The next day, it was still there, so I called in to find out more. The bike would cost $80 to buy, and the pawn shop would take it back for half of that, which would mean I could have my very own bike for $40, for as long as I wanted it. The pawn shop even had a lock and a few helmets for sale.

But I’ve never bought anything from a pawn shop in Las Vegas before (not unexpectedly), and didn’t know how much a conventional bike rental would cost. So I wanted to check it out a bit. It turns out that bike rental is fairly expensive in Las Vegas, so it looked like a good deal after all. And I decided that the shop was probably honest enough.

So the very next day I decided to go buy a bike. And it was gone. It had been sold earlier that morning. I was unimpressed. The other two bikes that they had for sale were both more expensive, but they were unridable – better bikes, but with really, really badly worn tires. I checked out another pawn shop, but they only had even more expensive bikes.

So I had a cycling-free holiday. The moral of the story – seize the day! If I hadn’t hesitated, I’d probably have had a great cycling adventure in a faraway land. But instead, I took a day to think about it, and didn’t.

But having said that, if I had got the bike, I probably would have pootled around a fairly small area, especially since it was pretty warm to cycle in. And I suppose there is a reasonable chance that I would have ended up as a human hood ornament on a big American car. Instead, I hired a big American car myself, and I was able to travel to the mountains on either side of the city, and really enjoyed it.

So the other moral of the story is that things usually work out okay, even if it’s not what you planned.

I’m not a big reader of newspapers, but I always like to have one to read when I’m flying. Especially if it’s free. So I read yesterday’s Times.

I really enjoyed it. Apart from all the news, highlights were the following:

• The dalek found in a pond in Hampshire. Yes really. There is a picture of it emerging from of the water, all covered in green slime. It’s also covered at the Doctor Who News page, but with a different picture, which isn’t nearly so sinister.
• An update on Darfur. It’s still in complete chaos, with the death toll now up to 300,000 people (estimated by the U.N.), people still dying at the hands of the government-backed militia groups, and even more refugees. Apparently the International Criminal Court was to decide yesterday on whether the Sudanese president would face war crime charges. It’s a disgrace that this situation is still no better after so long.
• A comedy suggestion from some bishops in Italy that people should give up text messages for Lent.
• A report on a new tomb found in Egypt. I always like to hear about new discoveries in Egypt.
• A really interesting article about a group of monks in Greece who are under siege because they have turned their back on the Orthodox church, and it’s not happy. The monks believe that by improving relations with the Roman Catholic church, the Patriarch of the Orthodox church has become ecumenical, which they cannot accept. The monastery has actually been attacked by other monks, hospitalizing six of them, and they now have permanent guards posted, and have to smuggle in food by sea or through the woods. I especially liked that the monks use the old Julian calendar, since the Gregorian calendar was introduced by a pope (Gregory XIII). As the article says, it sounds like something out of a Dan Brown novel!
• And finally, the financial results of the Drax group were discussed. Since Hugo Drax was the villain of the James Bond film “Moonraker”, this just amused me.

I had a busy weekend. Here’s a few thoughts.

• I had too much chocolate cake on Friday night. It was a comedy-sized slice (more of a hunk of cake really), and I should have just had some of it and left the rest. But I couldn’t resist it, and ended up eating all of it and feeling slightly dreadful. Don’t want to see chocolate cake for a while.
• At Saturday night’s murder mystery evening, I played the part of Dr Sigmund Fraud, controversial Viennese psychologist. It was good fun, and I managed to correctly identify the murderer (it wasn’t me). But there was a gorgeous dark chocolate mousse, and I had to eat someone else’s, as it was too rich for them. Two rich dark chocolate mousses was quite an achievement. But it was way too much, and I don’t want to see any kind of chocolate for a while.
• Up early on Sunday morning to shave off my beard, which was traumatic, but entirely the right thing to do for my sister’s wedding, since she hates it so much. Face is now bald, and a bit sensitive. I’m constantly aware of my skin being a bit irritated around my chin, and get very distracted by my reflection, since it looks wrong.
• Surprised myself by having a couple of chocolate brownies after church on Sunday. I clearly have no self-control whatsoever, and got over my anti-chocolate feelings remarkably quickly. Am now worried about chocolate poisoning.
• Was slightly taken aback by a couple of non-reactions to my beardless face, as friends tried to work out what was different about me, but weren’t quite about to work it out. The moral of the story – although it’s a big deal to me, no-one else is even looking at my face to know if I have a beard or not.

I like cars.

And unlike some of my friends, I especially like big cars. It’s probably my inner megalomaniac.

But I was a bit surprised the other night when a local garage revealed that in the month of January, they only sold one car bigger than a Ford Fiesta. I hope sensible sized cars (that bikes can be thrown into the back of) aren’t going out of fashion.

I got a history book for Christmas. I hated learning history at school, and dropped it as soon as possible (3rd year). But like so many things, once I was no longer forced to endure it, I now actually rather enjoy it (unlike rugby, which I still hate).

Anyway, so I’ve been reading a book of history. The other night I reached the reign of King Harald Bluetooth of Denmark, famous nowadays for having the radio technology that we use mainly for mobile phone hands-free kits named after him.

So what did to do to deserve this honour, since he clearly didn’t invent it, being dead for about a thousand years? Bluetooth was named after him because he is remembered as the man who unified Norway, Sweden and Denmark as a single kingdom, as bluetooth is intended to unite diverse devices in a happy wireless network. But what I hadn’t realised that one of the ways in which he united them was under a Christian faith, having been converted to Christianity himself. I’ve always been very fond of my bluetooth headsets (I’ve had a few of them over the years), but now that I know that they are intended to spread Christianity, I’m even more impressed. I have no idea yet how they achieve this, but I’m sure it’ll become clear sooner or later.

What kind of person leaves one of those impossible infuriating puzzles with the little balls and holes on your desk? I mean, what kind of mental cruelty is that?

Is sabotaging my day in work the sort of baheviour that made this nation great?

Well, I managed to solve it anyway!

See! See! I did it!

So there, Alan!

I’ve finally taken down all my Christmas cards, and done a complex analysis, and decided that the Christmas Card of the year is this one, from my cousin Mark.

Apologies to all the artistic and crafty people who sent me hand-made cards. They were very nice, and appreciated, but the comedy and controversy value of this one wins.

And for anyone who is offended by the lack of focus of the speech bubble at the top, and can’t brng themselves to read it, it says “Is it just me, or is the polar ice cap getting smaller?”

And yes, it is a long time since I posted anything. I will try and do better 🙂

I was out on my bike today, and on the way home, at the end of my own little street, I saw an impressive piece of motoring history.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the internet, may I proudly present the Allegro Vanden Plas! As far as I can recall, one of the car magazines once named it the worst car of all time. You can see how they unexpectedly managed to transplant half the noble nose of a Jaguar onto the less than noble body of an Austin Allegro. They also managed to fill it with shagpile carpet, half a walnut tree, and leather seats. It was quite the Hyacinth Bucket Mobile of its time, and its a rare treat to see a fine specimen out in the wild.

(Photo not taken by permission, but blatantly snapped in the middle of the pavement. No offence intended, your statutory rights are not affected)